To Whom It May Concern:
When I first started writing, it was solely expressive. It was the way I gave myself a voice. I would always write like I was talking to someone, like someone was listening. Almost like a letter. It was how I made sense of my emotions and released my anxieties. My phone was a way for me to do this quickly. I would write them in my email. I think it made me feel like I was really addressing the person or people I had in mind. Like they had to listen to me. In all of my pieces I’m talking to someone. Sometimes even myself. There is always someone in mind.
When I started sharing my words I was tired of not being heard, ignored, and misunderstood. I was disappointed in myself for letting that be the reason I didn’t use my voice. It was my way of pressing send on all those emails. This, was the next step.
I hope after reading this you press send and never hold your tongue again, to whomever it may concern: Enjoy.
To:
Cc/Bcc:
Subject: UGLY
Stretching my voice across every wall
of these 650 square feet.
I’m ugly with you.
As my tears hum us to sleep.
I’m ugly with you.
Birthing a new mind as our first child.
I’m ugly with you
Unburying a life that still lingers.
I’m ugly with you.
As I lay it down again and cover it with soil.
I’m ugly with you.
I even watered it, then asked you to do so too.
I’m ugly with you.
Showed you all my dirty roots; with the hope
that you’d want to replant ‘em, brand new.
I’m triflin’
Being ugly with you, waiting for your ugly too.
Sent from my iPhone
k.C.
To:
Cc/Bcc:
Subject: Babygirl
She deserved love of the purest kind.
God gave it to her.
I judged her before, but
I get it now.
Tragedy washed away with
New innocence
But you give too much of yourself - with faith,
And a romanticized idea of reality;
Then expect the same in return
You only break your own heart.
Sent from my iPhone
k.C.
To:
Cc/Bcc:
Subject: Lost&Found
I miss you while you’re here
Because it never lasts.
You never stay
But somehow when you come back
I’m sure it’s a forever thing.
The war you hold me
I feel it in my belly.
The way you kiss me while I sleep makes me
Forget I ever went without you
I think I actually like you
And that’s the only way I could ever love again.
Shit.
I wanna sit in the sun with you.
Sent from my iPhone,
kC.