Ugly Talks...
The IDF
IDF COMMANDER IN 1968: Vladmir Smirminsky, born in a shtetl in eastern Poland, lost 18 brothers during World War II, tactical genius, fought with the partisans, died of a heart attack while burning down a Palestinian elementary school
IDF COMMANDER IN 2023: Mof Galod, born in a hospital built on top of a Palestinian graveyard, amateur DJ, murdered a 6 year old while on patrol in East Jerusalem, gets killed 30 seconds after entering Gaza
The Nixon Tapes
HALDEMAN: I think they’re called vamp, they’re big fans of Opium. Have you heard the
new ken carson?
NIXON: Opium? [grunts] what the fuck?
HALDEMAN: Yeah, it’s a record label.Playboi Carti owns it. NIXON: [inaudible]
HALDEMAN: yeah, I guess ‘those people’ actually own it.
Talking to a Police Sketch Artist
UGLY: his .. aquiline nose was carved gently onto his face, grief embedded in his
solemn eyes, his lips, plump, moist and inviting
OFFICER, DRAWING HEARTS AROUND THE SKETCH : was he white or black? UGLY: His skin was
a deep olive, a rich burnt yell—
Hanging With Africans
ETHIOPIAN: ze ah my horrible white wife ez waiting feh me at dress barn
NIGERIAN: no dey, I can’t beleeb dis, you would date black american? ah, dee-scrace
fal
SOMALI: I’m basically Nordic
SOUTH AFRICAN: [a middle aged man claps hands firmly around a cup of tea] I remember
when my grandfather killed the police officer who came for my brother, he told me
and Cecil to hide in the brush while the apartheid dogs tossed the house. The stench
of the Boers lingered after they left. I never got to say goodbye to my grandfather.
White Flight
The whites ran away from major cities to get away from black folks and crime, just to
watch their entire bloodline get erased by bathtub meth and fentanyl
Doing A Crime
GOON: It’s done boss
CRIME BOSS: and you did exactly what I said?
2ND GOON: we did good, boss. we found the fat white woman wearing big bird pajama
pants at walmart, just like yous told us
CRIME BOSS: I said cookie monstuh pajama pants, you fanook! What have you done?
[warehouse wall explodes]