DearShawtok!
DearShawtok!
My partner and I have been together for three years, and lately, it feels like we’re speaking different languages. We used to have deep convos but now it’s like we’re just going through the motions. Every time we try to discuss our feelings we just end up misunderstanding each other. How can we bridge this communication gap and reconnect?
A: Yerrrrrrr! Aight the first thing you need to do is make your issue known. It’s unfair to not only your partner but yourself as well to not speak on your grievance. If there’s an issue, calmly and rationally explain that you feel like you’re not seeing eye to eye and that you wanna do whatever it takes to bridge that gap! Clothes mouths don’t get fed! Stop what’s currently a speedbump from turning into a big ass pothole before you lose ya damn muffler! And if need be, reach out to a neutral, mutual friend of the both of yours and let them google translate your emotions so y’all can hear each other loud and clear cuz I’m sure you both want to make this work. Ok? OK!
DearShawtok!
I feel like I’m at a crux in my relationship. The other day I found out through a third party that my partner’s been keeping something from me, and I can’t help but feel a growing sense of mistrust. I love them, with all my heart, but the lack of transparency has me losing sleep. How can we rebuild trust, and is it possible to move past such a betrayal?
A: Aw damn gang that’s crazy smh. Trust and respect are like the backbones of any relationship, not just romantic ones. I’ve been through some shit like that before and honestly you gotta ask yourself if you value love or respect more. I say indirect assertive, not aggressive, confrontation is the best solution. Allude to being suspicious and kind of clue them in to the fact that you know, without saying you know; then allow them the chance to come clean. If they admit the truth, know that they respect you enough to tell you the truth even if it’s difficult for them and then decide if you think the relationship is worth salvaging. If they act like they don’t know what you’re talking about with a straight face when it’s obvious they do... walk out that do’ and don’t come back no mo’. Because while anybody that’ll sit in your face and lie to you values having you in their life, but they are too selfish to not do the thing they don’t want you to know and don’t have enough respect for you to give you the autonomy to leave them if you knew what they were hiding. And at that point... it’s a dub! Ok? OK!
DearShawtok!
My partner and I are both successful driven people with demanding jobs which is sort of what sparked our initial attraction. But lately, it feels like our relationship is taking a back seat to our professional lives. We barely have time for each other, and when we do, we’re too drained to really get to bask in each other’s presence. How can we balance our careers and maintain a healthy, thriving relationship? I don’t want our love to take a backseat to our ambitions.
A: Damn slime y’all ass must be capricorns or something lol. But seriously, work-life bal- ance is some shit that’s been spankin niggas way before Maslow’nem ever needed a hier- archy fr. The good news is it seems like the both of you are equally yoked in this situation so the most important thing you can do is empathize with each other since neither party is really at fault. At the end of the day you’re both grinding right now so you can have a better brighter future together I would assume. But you can’t let that spark die while in that pursuit! Utilize that PTO! Facetime each other at lunch! Set aside a day or two out of the week where y’all do something passionate, not just romantic. If you put the same effort into your relationship as you do your careers I’m positive everything will work out. If you continuously water the seed of your relationship in the present, I promise it’ll bloom into a tree that grants you shade in the future. Ok? OK!